sometimes, i think about what would happen if i packed a bag and took a one way ticket out of Lowell. would i be any happier? would i be okay?
i remember being a kid in lowell. dreaming of going away, being away from here. just living a life away from these familiar faces. i would be okay, going into a city,not knowing a single soul. whats holding me back? whats stopping me.
my heart hurts for the people who cant leave Lowell. Who thinks this is i for them. that the only life they know are the streets of lowell. I think what upsets me more is that theyre okay with that. theyre happy being stuck here. just like that, i remember why im in school. why i work, 40 hours a week, go to school full time and hustle. so i can get out of here. i dont see myself here forever. thats probably why i get so much hate from people around me. im determine to leave this place. no matter how much i love lowell, i know this isnt forever. this isnt for me. i’ll stay working until i can get away.
low key depress or sad. trying to push through.
guess im just tired. tired of this.
constantly feeling like i’ll never get there.
i just wanna be successful already. im so over the whole struggle stage. im just tired. just wanna be madly in love with my best friend, living in a cute apt in a city we both love. working jobs were happy in. being surronded by people who love and support us. am i asking for too much?
i just feel like im working really hard for nothing. in school, at brewd in life.
feeling really anxious and overwhelm about life.
